Post by Friendly Destroyer on Mar 29, 2013 9:45:47 GMT -5
I told my wife the other day that the Sasquatch kids made an emoticon outta my face. Can you believe it I says to her! She tells me, "Sure I can. The only difference from your face and a period is that I can actually stand the cramps!". Boy I tells ya!
But listen folks. I don't understand technology these days. Take my wife for example... no seriously take her, I don't want her!
The thing about technology is that they trick you into buying a fancy new gadget that promises to make your life nice, easy and fulfill all of your pleasures but then 2 months later a new model comes along which is faster, better and more impressive than the one you just spent all that money on. Now you're left bitter and full of resentment as you stare at this outdated piece of garbage that even the homeless wouldn't touch. You know back in my day they used to just call this marriage! Boy I tells ya...
Folks how is it that they can make an instruction manual that allows me to operate a machine which depends on receiving instantaneous contact from satellites in outer space while letting me simultaneously watch the newest picture shows, update my banking info, and buy a new car all while sitting in my home office but they can't make an instructional manual on how to get my wife to shut up! Boy I tells ya.
FYI for anyone considering Wildhorse, they have 21 spots left right now, so get em while they're hot.
Depending on what trimester the Wild Horse attendees are in it is entirely possible that at least 17 of these spots have been spoken for already.
Drew also keeps forgetting to mention that while being a midwife is not a requirement of staying in Wild Horse it is encouraged. For those not familiar with bringing newborns into this world they do provide an easy "Delivering Babies For Dummies" chart upon entry that uses friendly layman's terminology such as "pull", "don't barf just quite yet, you've still got a job to do", and "goop".