We ate at a place called Taco John's, and now I'm farting allllll over Goldbeard and his automobile.
I'm slightly disappointed that Goldbeard has an automobile. I was hoping that you just kinda hopped on his back and soared into the sky toward your destination leaving behind a trail of shimmering gold dust.
I was at some tent during my wanderings and hanging with a bunch of Canadians. This one lady was an American and was trying so hard to take one of us to her tent on account of her being drunk and having daddy issues. She was very emotionally needy. At one point when a bunch of us were talking about poop and farts she starts talking like crazy to try and be cool and make one of us get "into her." (My quotes for no reason, just there). Like seriously talking for 10 minutes about she-poops and she-farts. Then she took me to the side and started walking with me. She couldn't find her place in the dark so I wished her luck and continued my wandering. I wasn't going to do the dirty either way, on account that she was tripping me out. Plus, I don't like farts in my mouth, which I was suspicious that she would attempt that at some point, since she talked for a good 10 minutes about farts.
I found my new buddies at their tent and explained what happened. Then... they covered me in blankets and I wandered back to my tent and laughed at the cows in the field for a few hours. I realized she was like the cows, lost and in need of a herd.