I felt diva-ish writing that story last night, which is why I decided to just say I'm never going there again. I don't usually use this board to vent, but since I was asked...
This coming less than a week after I screamed at a cop. My patience for stupidity is at an all-time low right now.
Seriously though, all they have to do is say something. I am sure they get shit tips because it really isn't a bar (as you now know) so you would think they would try to be nicer and get them. The thing that gets me about that place is that HG and I have been going there for years, sometimes more frequently than others, but they never recognize him. They always, every time, remember me. I have never had the occasion to go to Ground Kontrol without HG, he is always there with me. It makes me laugh but it drives him crazy. At this point I will not frequent it on weekend nights because it is just too much and like 1000 degrees at all times.
Fuck no, I love sketch comedy. If it doesn't suck. What I hate about Portlandia is that it is written and performed by two assholes who don't even live here, and who can't even be bothered to, y'know, write jokes. They are just portraying actual aspects of Portland life, as if the people of this city are funny just by virtue of living here. It's lazy, it's offensive, and worst of all it's not fucking funny at all.
Not only that, but ever since that fucking show came on, people have been flocking to Portland because it gives them the impression that this is some counter-cultural Valhalla. The number of street kids has doubled. The number of street kids using fucking kittens or puppies as props to inspire pity so people will give them money has gone through the roof (and apparently there was a teeeeerribly funny sketch about that on Portlandia as well). The housing market, the job market -- both already completely for shit -- has gotten exponentially worse.
Is that 100% attributable to Portlandia? No, that is silly. But it is certainly NOT helping.
Carrie lives in Portland, and has for some time. She isn't a comedian, and neither is Fred. Fred is like Gilbert Godfrey, he's a novelty, but instead of screaming like Godfrey, his shtick is to be awkward and creepy. For this reason, I don't think the show was ever supposed to be funny, but it often lands in the "clever" area of comedy, which I appreciate as much as "laugh out loud."
People flock to Portland because Portland is an awesome place to live, and they are tricked into thinking it's year round awesome because they only visit in the summer. People aren't flocking to Jersey because they like work out, do laundry, and tan. I'm not sure how street kids even know what Portlandia is? Are they secretly from rich families with lucrative trust funds who enjoy being covered in filth? I ask because I really don't know. Street kids perplex me, because it seems like maybe they are, and they all have IPads in their backpacks. I saw the skit you referenced about the street kids with the pets getting real paid, but I'd seen that hundreds of times before the skit was created. I'm sure that happens in every major city. "Give me money or my pet will die."
I know you are a heavy thinker when it comes to TV shows, and I like TV for the mindless entertainment, so we're never going to fully agree here. But I think you are being way too tough on this show because you're overestimating it's cultural impact (it's on IFC, are that many people really watching it?) and you aren't a fan of Fred Armisen.
I'm digging what the Star Theater is doing. It's a relatively new venue, and they are starting to grab acts that should play the Hawthorne Theatre, ie, the worst venue in town. The people who book venues have a certain taste in music, and they rarely stray too far from it, which is why you don't see metal bands at the Crystal Ballroom, for example. It's also why the Doug Fir is basically Portland's Pitchfork.
The Star Theater got Death Grips, Omar Rodriquez-Lopez, and now KMFDM. If they grab half of those slated for the Hawthorne Theatre, I'm going to be very happy.
Is the Hawthorne where Grails and Neurosis played last year during MFNW? If so, I am very fucking excited that Death Grips aren't playing there.
No, that was the Roseland, which is right across the street from the Star Theater. The Roseland is a very ghetto venue, I'll admit, but it's my favorite large venue in town. The capacity at the Star Theater is about 25% of the Roseland.
The Star Theater is really nice inside. It reminds me of a miniature opera theater. You'll dig. It is really narrow and long, my only complaint.
And I concur regarding the Star. It is a shame that there are certain genres that only play at the Hawthorne. It is the WORST. I am excited to check out the Star. I had only been in there when it was the Satyricon and only at the bar, I never actually saw a show there.
No no no no, Stormy, you're off by a block. The Satyricon is a homeless shelter now. The Star Theater is literally across the street from the Roseland. The last time I was there, we snuck in only because we left a show at the Roseland and saw "Concrete Blonde" in lights across the street.