Dear crazy and insanely fickle people Sasquatch Board,
You would all make terrible detectives. If any one of you were part of my Detective Squad and I was the boss king of the Detective Squad I would be sure that the only crimes you were solving were the "get me another coffee with two sugars and I'd better be able to see my reflection on these Detective Room floors when all of us other useful detectives return" crimes. I am specifically addressing the detectives in the room that have already come to the conclusion that Sasquatch will be awful and full of shitty EDM acts and also be headlined most probably by a local Seattle hip hop artist 2 of the 4 nights. The evidence is clearly there. Sell your tickets meow! Listen, panic if you wanna, but at least do it a little more discreetly and stop making this place look so bad. An internet glitch leaked a fraction of a 4 day festival. 75% of those artists are in the Banana shack. Logical thinking would then lead us all to believe that this is definitely and exactly how the festival will look. Right??????? There is no other way of looking at this. Don't even bother looking for another angle the writing is on the wall. We've solved the case Sarge! "This festival stinks" is of course a more than appropriate and super smart reaction. You bet! Say it a bunch of times too! I'm surprised that we haven't talked more about the concerning trend we see on Monday. One act! Only one! What a step down from the other years am I right? So glad I just sold my ticket 5 minutes ago. I mean, who wants to fork over hard earned money just for one act on Monday? Exactly.
God, I love you Friendly D. This is exactly what I was about to say (just maybe not put quite so eloquently). For a second I thought I was the only one who wasn't losing faith in this Sasquatch being really good. Thank you. Friendly D for prez.
Here is the lineup for Sasquatch 2012: Bjork/The Shins/Bon Iver/Pulp/ The Roots/Girl Talk/Air/DJ Shadow/At the Drive-In/Mazzy Star/ tUnE-yArDs/Refused/Black Star/Feedtime/WU LYF/ The Head and the Heart/St Vincent/The Rapture/Childish Gambino/Bassnectar/Theophilus London/M Ward/Pretty Lights/Flying Lotus/AWOLNATION/Nada Surf/ The Sheepdogs/AVICII/SBTRK/Junip/Craig Finn/Brendan Benson/ We Were Promised Jetpacks/Macklemore and Ryan Lewis/Girls/Dawes/Group Love/ Active Child/Unknown Mortal Orchestra/ Wild Flag/Washed Out/Dum Dum Girls/Shabazz Palaces/Japandroids/Memory House/Grace Potter and the Nocturnals/Kathleen Edwards/Yuck/The Beets/ The Lumineers/Fergus & Geronimo/Nikki & the Dove/Blue Scholars/ Poor Moon/ Allen Stone/ Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter/Grynch/ My Goodness/ Truckasaurus/ Whalebones/ Mad Rad/ Temp Score/Sol/Fatal Lucciauno/Don’t Talk to the Cops/Champagne Champagne/ Star Anna and the Laughing Dogs/Fresh Espresso/Lemolo/ Beat Connection/ Ravenna Woods/Metal Chocolates/ Hey Marseilles/ OC Notes/Thee Satisfaction/ Seapony/ The Seattle Rock Orchestra performs Muse/Youth Lagoon/The Physics/Pickwick/ Scribes/Katie Kate/ Mash Hall/Fly Moon Royalty/ Dyme Def/ Goldfinch/ Bryan John Appleby /Young Hines/Kelli Schaefer
Seriously, this was posted a long time before the leak and it got every single band that was revealed completely correct. Now we just have to swallow the truth and accept that this is our lineup. It even has all the rappers..
Where's the original source for that? If that's our lineup I'm a very happy man. It's missing parts of what was leaked on the site though, so that could be an incomplete lineup if it is indeed the real deal.
"There is a pedophile farmer with one leg from my tiny hometown. He raped some kids his wife babysat. Now my dad shakes his hand in church."
wait you mean someone was able to correctly guess that such obscure bands as Girl Talk, The Shins, and every seattle band with a tiny bit of buzz will be playing! I guess that must really be the lineup