Fucking brilliant stamps. Here's the simpler version
"You can't sell bootleg t-shirts, dude. Fuck off. What do they even look like? Oh god. Oh GOD, those are so ugly! Ha! Hahahaha, ha, ha, Jesus. Alright, I'll take one. Yeah, sure. That's fine...wait what? $13? Well I'll pay it if everyone else is, I guess. You guys aren't getting one? Fuck, it is too expensive, isn't it. I should just sell this shit myself. Dude, who cares, it was illegal the whole time! Seriously? Fuck you, dude. Fuck off."