Oh man I've spent way too much time in the past couple of days on doodleordie.com. Basically you're given a picture and you have to describe it or you're given a description and you have to draw a picture of it. Of course there's always idiots drawing my little ponies and penises but it's super fun when you get smart people involved.
With the relative "having a cold" powers of a spider!
Female seeking to be band groupie. Just turned 19 and I'm looking to get my ROCK on. Hire me and I will stalk the Fuck out of your band! Turn up at every gig and make it look like I genuinely adore you.
I promise to wear super tight, revealing clothing and super high heels. I'm also cultured enough to know that you dance to the BASS, so I'm totally going to have to blow the bass player at some point, even though I know they're usually the fat pigs of the band.
Let me manage your Facebook page and Myspace page. I will hit the streets and sing your praises! Even if you look and sound like crap, I will make you look hotter!
If all this sounds good, wait, there's more! I also play the tambourine like a motherfucking riot! I can provide background percussion or whatever you need to fill out your sound.
All this talent doesn't come cheap! $200 a week is my starting rate, and it goes up based upon how bad your band is, or how ugly your bassist is (since I'm going to have to blow him at some point).
My name is Vanessa and I'm ready to work!
Here's my picture so you get an idea of what you are hiring: